July 4th, 2009 - Heathrow

Wow I was a bartender in a post-apocalyptic Toronto where people rode around on the public bikes from Paris. Some guy stole one of my customers' bikes so I chased him down and took it back. Then later I got a message from his gang buddies that I was gonna pay for what I did and I thought that the world was unfair.

It's not so much that I want to be in love, I just want to hang out with someone who is cool and attractive who I can be naked with...and have sex.

So apparently Sean watched a little too much CNN. They got him with the commercials for countries nobody wants to go to. Such as: Montenegro.

Mullets are all the rave in Paris.

From above Paris looks like a frowny face, the Seine being the mouth. It is the face of a true Frenchman.

Nobody wants to leave Paris, so there are no lines at Charles de Gaulle. Or maybe no American flies on the fourth of july and they are the ones who cause lines.

Wow. Who would've thunk that I would be sitting next to a guy who had my first name as his last name and had been John Lasseter's driver? Good thing I changed my seat at check in. Won't let no computer decide my fate.

God damn it, Travis. All your Taoist ideas may really be the way to go, or at least your interpretation of them.

Have a "safe" trip.

Either I'm more attractive than I give myself credit for, or that wasn't my doppelganger.

The reason people don't tip as much in Europe is because waiters didn't figure out the "is everything ok?" technique.


I have a friend named James. You get a better tip.

I find it very amusing that they play the Austin Powers theme song in the center of Heathrow.

Dear England, stop scaring the world with your bathroom robots.

In retrospect, that girl I sat next to on the train to Venice was probably the cutest human being I've ever met. I would have fallen in love at first sight if I believed in it.

The life jacket is equipped with a light and a whistle. The whistle goes "WHOOP!"

Dragonball: Evolution wins movie of the year.

Goodbye Paris.